Final Outcome – A Poem

Hi everyone! Happy Tuesday!

Final Outcome

The blame resides on her shoulders,
pressing down until she can’t stand.
Breathe in deep and choke a scream,
reality has dealt another cruel hand.

Too weak to leave, too weak to stay,
this tragedy sinks down to her core.
Decaying into a pile of nothingness,
she cannot live like this anymore.

Tearing away all the beauty and grace,
her soul crumbles and her spirit turns numb.
And with nothing left to fight for,
she prepares to face the final outcome.

You can follow me on Twitter & Instagram: @Jessicainspirrd

You can follow me on Facebook: @authorjessicarachow

You can read chapter one of Alter Reach here.

Until next time –

Jessica

Dealing With Grief

Hi everyone. Happy Friday. This week was crazy. I had the stomach flu, and was out of work Monday-Wednesday. I’m finally feeling like myself again.

I’ve been wanting to write a blog post like this for quite a while, but honestly, it isn’t something I love to talk about. It’s difficult to open up about something that hurts, but it’s also therapeutic.

I mentioned it once, briefly in an earlier post, but I didn’t elaborate. Wednesday, 8/16 was the nine year anniversary of my mother’s passing. I was already not feeling well, and the realization of the anniversary made things worse.

A little background. My mom was diagnosed with cancer and in the same year, passed away from it. The doctors thought she had a year to live, when in reality, it was months.

My Mom was one of those people that just lit up every room she walked into. She worked in my high school cafeteria, and became a mother to people I didn’t even get a long with in school. It was just who she was. I knew many kids who called her Mom, and I know she helped a lot of people through a lot of painful times in their lives.

She spent her last week in the hospital. The nurses said they had never seen so many people come to visit. It was crazy how many people came back, day after day, just to spend another second with her. Like I said, she changed people’s lives.

When Mom finally passed, I have to say, there was some relief. Taking care of a woman, who for your entire life, was so strong and independent, was the saddest thing to experience. I say it was a relief, but that feeling of relief wasn’t there for long.

I didn’t spiral into depression, but there were dark moments. There were also happy moments. I have the best father a girl could ask for, and what we went through brought us closer than we probably ever would have been. It also brought me a step mother, step sister and a niece, who I wouldn’t know if things were different.

It was hard to feel that happiness for a long time though. There were times I felt lost, angry and confused. Why my Mom, of all people? I may never know that answer. And I’ve come to terms with that, but it took a lot to get where I am. Sure, I still cry. I cried Wednesday. But I don’t let that darkness cover all the light in my life.

If you are going through or struggling with any grief, I have a few pieces of advice.

Keep up your routine, to keep yourself healthy. Sleep, eat and drink water. Don’t let yourself get so low, you hurt your health.

Talk to someone. Family, friend, counselor…whoever it is, make sure you trust them. Don’t shut yourself off from the world. Darkness is a lonely place, don’t let it consume you.

Express yourself. Whether it’s through writing, painting, cooking…find something you can pour your heart into. Every time you feel that cloud rolling in, go to that one thing that makes you feel powerful and alive.

All of this is easier said than done. It’s been nine years and I still struggle. Every time I see someone post a selfie with their mother or complain about their mother, that pang of jealousy and darkness comes rolling in; but, I never let it win.

A much more personal post, but I’ve been wanting to write it for quite a while. I hope you have a fabulous weekend!

You can keep up to date with me on Twitter & Instagram: @JessicaInspired and on Facebook: @authorjessicarachow

You can still read chapter one of Alter Reach here.

Until next time –

Jessica

Reader Problems Book Tag

Hello everyone! Two blog posts in one day – unheard of! I’m really trying to get back on my game of writing consistently, so here I am. 😛

This is a tag I found on Katytastic’s YouTube channel – check it out. If you want to answer the questions, I tag you. Let me know you did it so I can read your answers! 🙂

 

QUESTIONS

1. You have 20,000 books on your TBR. How in the world do you decide what to read next?

I don’t really have a strategy for this. I normally just look at my shelf and grab a book that sticks out to me. The only time I pick a specific book is if I am reading through a series. For example, the Hunger Games – I read the books, one after another.


2. You’re halfway through a book and you’re just not loving it. Do you quit or are you committed?

Sometimes I quit, sometimes I commit to the end. If I am reaching the “exciting” portion of the book and still not loving it, I put it down. There have been times when I was reading a book and thinking about putting it down, but I powered through and ended up loving the book. This is rare though.
3. The end of the year is coming and you’re so close, but so far away on your GoodReads reading challenge. Do you try to catch up and how?

I set unrealistic GoodReads reading challenges for myself, but I try to catch up by reading as much as possible whenever I have a chance. 



4. The covers of a series you love do. not. match. How do you cope?

This bothers me so much…but I still buy the un-matching book because I am not satisfied until I have the entire series on my shelf. 



5. Every one and their mother loves a book you really don’t like. Who do you bond with over shared feelings?

I don’t really have anyone to bond over my shared hatred of certain books…except maybe my husband, but he isn’t really into the books I’m into so that doesn’t always work. I just look up YouTube reviews and try to find people who have similar opinions. 



6. You’re reading a book and you are about to start crying in public. How do you deal?

I leave said public setting and finish reading the tear-worthy section. If I’m in a situation that I can’t leave, I’m normally not reading.


7. A sequel of a book you loved just came out, but you’ve forgotten a lot from the prior novel. Will you re-read the book? Skip the sequel? Try to find a synopsis on Goodreads? Cry in frustration?!?!?!?

Sometimes I re-read the book, sometimes I find a synopsis. It depends on how long it’s been since I read the prior book. Normally, I start reading a series after all the books have come out anyway, so I’m not in this situation often. 



8. You do not want anyone. ANYONE. borrowing your books. How do you politely tell people nope when they ask?

I let people borrow books once and a while, but it has to be someone I trust. I love my books, don’t get me wrong, but if it’s a story I think people should read, I am happy to let them read it. 



9. Reading ADD. You’ve picked up and put down 5 books in the last month. How do you get over your reading slump?

This is me, right now. I try to power through it by picking a book that I have been excited to read. This normally helps me to get back into it.



10. There are so many new books coming out that you’re dying to read! How many do you actually buy?

I only spend money when I know I can..so I suffer through wanting all the books until I can either afford them or ask for them for Christmas 🙂 



11. After you’ve bought the new books you can’t wait to get to, how long do they sit on your shelf before you get to them?

It depends on where I am on my TBR list. Sometimes the new book is at the top, and sometimes it’s a little farther down. I only buy a book if it’s in the top 5 of my reading TBR unless I’m buying from a used book store and find something that just interests me.

 

Well, there it is. Last post for today, but I’m hoping I will be better about posting now. Thanks for sticking with me! 🙂

You can still read Chapter One of Alter Reach here.

As always, if you want to stay up to date with me, you can follow me on Twitter & Instagram @JessicaInspired, and like my facebook page.

Don’t forget to check out my review of Kong: Skull Island Review with my husband on YouTube!

Until next time –
Jessica

Jessica’s Weekly Poetry Post #6

Hello everyone! It’s Sunday and it’s a beautiful day here in Rochester, NY. I had a nice weekend, I hope you all did as well. I have another poem to share with you today. I hope you enjoy it.

Spellbound

Crimson drapes, glowing candles,
silent whispers of sweet desires.
The night draws near, takes me in,
singing sweetly, a lullaby of insanity.

Bright flames, angelic misery,
leads me to the end of another day.
Silent scene, darkness surrounds me,
soaring through an absurd fantasy.

I finally loose all of my control,
it’s dangerous, but I can’t help it.
I am spellbound,
and I cannot break the spell on me.

 

That is all I have for you today.

You can read Chapter One of Alter Reach here.

As always, if you want to stay up to date with me, you can follow me on Twitter & Instagram @JessicaInspired, and like my facebook page.

Don’t forget to check out my review of Kong: Skull Island Review with my husband on YouTube!

I hope you have a great week!

Until next time –
Jessica

All I Want For Christmas Tag

Hello everyone!

THREE DAYS TIL CHRISTMAS! I thought it would be fun to do another tag. I will be using movie, TV, and books to answer these questions.

I tag anyone who wants to participate!

All I Want For Christmas

QUESTIONS:

1) What fictional character do you want Santa to leave under your Christmas tree?
I’m going to go with a TV character for this one because I haven’t actually read the books…Damon Salvatore.
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I don’t think I need much more of an explanation.

2) What character do you want to kiss under the mistletoe?
I feel like it would be cheating to answer Damon Salvatore for this question again, even if it’s the most accurate answer I could give. I guess for this question, I’ll go with Peta!
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Team Peta forever ❤

3) You write your Christmas list for Santa, what are the top 5 books on it?

4) It’s secret Santa at Hogwarts, what do you most want to receive?
I want the invisibility cloak so I can sneak around Hogwarts.

5) You get to the spend the day with the characters and movie adaptation actors from one fandom, what do you pick?
It’s probably cheating if I pick the Vampire Diaries cast because I already answered the first question with Damon Salvatore…but I’m going to cheat. It would be so cool to hang out with that cast. (The cast would have to include Nina Dobrev and Joseph Morgan because it wouldn’t be a Vampire Diaries hang out without Elena and Klaus.)

6) What fictional animal would you like to replace Rudolph and be able to meet on your roof?
I really can’t think of an answer for this…
fail_meme

7) You invite 10 fictional characters to your new years eve party, who do you pick?
Damon Salvatore (For when the clock strikes midnight) (Yes, I know I used him 3 times in this tag.)
Evelyn Kingston (If you haven’t read Eve: The Awakening yet, you need to. I just think she needs a party after what she went through haha.)
Effie Trinket (Hunger Games…Best dressed!)
Dean Winchester (He would be a blast…and he’d keep the ghosts away!)
Thor (Because, why not?)
Fred & George Weasley (To keep the party interesting)
Alice & Jasper Cullen (If you’re going to invite Twilight characters, might as well invite the interesting ones!)
Garcia (Criminal Minds…I feel like she would be best friends with Effie)

8) What character would make a good Santa?
Dobbey! ….I know he doesn’t look like Santa, but his personality totally fits.
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Well, I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed answering it. Please let me know if you do the tag – I’d love to read/watch your answers.

Not sure I will have time to post again until next week so, MERRY CHRISTMAS!! I hope you all have a fun and safe weekend with your families. ❤

Until next time!

Jessica

The Blood Books Trilogy by Danielle Rose – BOOK SALE!

BLOOD WAR Teaser #1

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This omnibus edition includes all 3 books (over 700 pages!) in the spellbinding Blood Books trilogy.

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